I’m so guilty. As many of you may know, I like to draw. In fact, art plays somewhat of a major role in my career based on my bang-my-head-against-a-wall interest in making the world look “nice.” So it may come as a surprise (at least, it has to me) that Zoe and Lucy are not interested whatsoever in making art. It doesn’t matter what medium we try: crayons, paint, pens, magnadoodles, stickers, fingerpainting etc. They entertain my yearning for about 3 minutes tops, then they wander off leaving me to clean up the mess. Even their Ducks from Elmo’s (is…

We recently received a hand-me-down fleece that I love — it’s very bright and stripey — but it may already be too small for Zoe and Lucy. I’ve been trying to get Zoe to try it on for weeks — just try it on — so I can pass it on if necessary. But she refuses every time, no matter what kind of mood she’s in when I ask. Finally tonight I got her to try it on. (Basically it did fit, but the sleeves were a bit short.) “What do you think Zoe?” I ask. “It’s too small. We…

So a piece of rope walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. “We don’t serve your kind in here,” says the bartender, gruffly. The rope walks out of the bar. Once outside, he ties himself in a knot. Then he runs his hands ferociously through his hair til it is sticking up in all directions. Then he walks back into the bar. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, “Say, aren’t you that piece of rope that came in here a few minutes ago?” “Nope,” says the rope. “I’m afraid not.” Get it? A frayed knot?…