I just read this article which claims that motherhood, rather than rendering us incompetent, dull-witted and boring, instead makes mothers perceptive, efficient and even socially aware. Apparently women’s cognitive abilities expand within a few weeks of giving birth, thanks to an “estrogen bath” our brains receive during pregnancy. After studying rat mamas, they’ve determined that this flood of hormones enables us to smell poop and stalk prey much faster than virgin rats.
All I have to say is try telling this to all those moms who are right now standing in the middle of the kitchen scratching their heads, trying to figure out why the hell they walked in there in the first place. Oh right — they’re fetching some paper towels and Saran wrap to stanch the flow from their children’s bottoms so they can take them to Wal-Mart to buy more diapers since they forgot to do it before they used the last one…and man does it stink. Luckily, they can also grab a chef knife while they’re in there so if they run into a rat on the way, they’ll have supper that night.